Figuring out my path...
I spend a lot of time self reflecting and trying to figure out why I react to things the way I do. I have had so many amazing things happen in my life and they definitely make me a happy people but its the yucky things that happen that sometimes rear their ugly heads and all the mean-ness comes out.
I hold on to certain things and I hate that. It takes one person saying one thing to me and it can put my mind in a tail spin for weeks. I will focus on what the person said and it will eat me up. I get all Kubler-Ross and have a hard time letting some things go. I go through all the stages from denial- and hopefully to acceptance. Not always to acceptance though.
I wonder if I am ever good enough. As happy as I am, I don't think I am ever good enough for me. My life always feels like it is in such a state of flux. I never have a really good grasp on it. I get scared to take real steps to make real big things happen for fear of failing.
I think I am scared that some day I will realize I am hiding behind some mask and the real me will be green and warty and selfish and not a good person.
Not sure why I am questioning so much right now but maybe it is because I have so much change coming in my life. The Art Center is going to be amazing but I definitely have to free up some other things in my life to truly make that a success. Its a little crazy! I do feel a little
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